Patient Story

“I knew somehow that my own eggs wouldn't work” 

We started trying when I was 33, had a miscarriage at 34, and found out I had low ovarian reserve at 35.

Our fertility consultant mentioned it after two failed IVF cycles with low-quality eggs and no embryo formation. He said we could try IUI, but I knew somehow that my own eggs wouldn't work. I also didn't want to be so attached to my genetic material that I would become a mother much later in life, if at all, so we started considering egg donation options after failed IVF. Additionally, I really couldn't go through any more failed cycles as it had started to affect my mental health.

We took some time to think about what we went through with failed IVF cycles and what to do next, so after a month we contacted the London Egg Bank.

Choosing the donor

We wanted someone who had undergone extensive health testing and seemed well-rounded from the way they spoke about themselves and in their goodwill message. It was important to us that the donor clearly understood the significance of donating eggs to help a couple start a family. We also considered their physical characteristics and tried to match them as closely as possible.

More challenges to overcome

Choosing the donor was easy. The first cycle failed because the protocol was very strong, and I experienced heart palpitations that had to be investigated.

The second protocol included Buserelin to shut down my ovaries, as a precaution, before giving me progesterone and estrogen (not given orally to avoid palpitations). That cycle worked and resulted in a successful and healthy pregnancy.

The emotional journey was quite traumatic as I had to give up on my own eggs, but far more traumatic to go through an egg donor IVF cycle that resulted in quite serious complications.

That is why the feeling of knowing the second cycle had worked was amazing and unforgettable! We were extremely worried in the first trimester, having been through a previous miscarriage at 7 weeks, but we received a ton of reassurance and had lots of extra scans to be sure everything was progressing well.

Worth it! 

Looking into her eyes, seeing her first true smile, and realising that she is a unique, beautiful individual who would not be with us without the pain and disappointment that had to come before. She is uniquely her, and that is all that matters.

We are planning to tell her the details of her conception. I have bought a children's book that I have already read to her to get used to the feeling of telling her how she was conceived.

So far, there's nothing different about it compared to a traditionally conceived child. Every day is wonderful and perfect.

I would tell our donor if I could, that she has transformed a world filled with "no's," "abnormal," and "unfortunately" into a world abundant with "yes," "normal," and "heartbeat." Her generous gift is the most incredible and cherished blessing we could have ever hoped for.

Advice 

We went through a lot, including failed IVF cycles and a miscarriage. So, we feel it's important to share our story with patients considering using donor eggs. Our advice is to see a fertility counsellor, take time to decide, meditate, and do breathing exercises to understand your true feelings. It's also worth considering registering with the Donor Conception Network. We hope sharing our journey can help others going through similar experiences.